I love the new dashboard! says your user in the feedback survey. But when you check the data, they haven’t opened it once since it launched. What’s going on? This disconnect between what users say and what they actually do is one of the most puzzling challenges in digital product development. Understanding these mixed signals is key to building things users truly love.
The Say-Do Gap: A Common Puzzle
The gap between what users say and what they do isn’t rare—it’s normal. This gap happens for many reasons:
- People want to be nice and avoid criticism
- Users don’t always understand their own behaviors
- What seems important in theory differs from daily practice
- People forget how they actually use products
- Social pressure influences what users say they value
These differences aren’t lies. They’re part of human nature. Our words and actions often tell different stories.
Why User Behavior and Feedback Differ
Several factors create this disconnect:
Social Desirability Bias
Users often say what they think sounds good:
- Claiming to use advanced features that seem impressive
- Saying they read terms and policies (when almost no one does)
- Reporting they spend less time on addictive features than they actually do
- Overstating how much they use “productive” features
- Understating frustrations to avoid seeming difficult
The Limitations of Memory
People simply forget:
- Which features they use most frequently
- How they solved problems last week
- Their actual paths through your product
- How long tasks really took to complete
- What frustrated them during past sessions
Aspirational vs. Actual Use
Users often describe their ideal selves:
- The organized person who would use your planning tools
- The careful researcher who would read all your content
- The power user who would customize everything
- The security-minded person who would update settings regularly
- The thorough user who would explore all features
These aspirations are real—but they often don’t match reality.
Mining Truth from Mixed Signals
To understand true user love, you need multiple research methods:
Combining Methods for Complete Insights
No single research approach tells the whole story:
- User Testing shows how people interact in controlled settings
- Surveys capture stated opinions and preferences
- Analytics reveal actual usage patterns
- Interviews uncover feelings and motivations
- Customer service logs highlight real problems
The truth usually lies at the intersection of these methods.
Looking at What Users Do
Behavioral data never lies about actions:
- Which features get used most often
- How long users spend on different screens
- Where users drop off or get stuck
- Which actions they repeat regularly
- What time of day they use your product
Listening to What Users Say
Feedback analysis reveals important context:
- Why users tried your product initially
- What goals they’re trying to achieve
- How they feel about their experience
- What they wish was different
- How they describe your product to others
Finding Patterns in User Contradictions
The most interesting insights often come from the gaps:
- Features users praise but rarely use
- Problems users don’t mention but actively avoid
- Functions users criticize but use heavily
- Workflows users say are important but bypass
- Areas where novice and expert behavior differs greatly
Common Mixed Signals in Digital Products
Some contradictions appear across many products:
The “Power User” Fantasy
Users often say they want advanced features and customization. In reality:
- Most never change default settings
- Complex features go unused
- Customization tools collect dust
- Users get overwhelmed by too many options
- Simple, guided experiences see higher engagement
The “I’ll Read It Later” Myth
Users claim they want comprehensive information. In practice:
- Long content rarely gets read
- Users scan rather than read carefully
- Video often works better than text
- Documentation goes unused until problems arise
- Users prefer to experiment rather than study
The “I’m Not Addicted” Defense
Users downplay their use of “sticky” features:
- Reporting less time on social feeds than reality
- Claiming they “rarely” check notifications
- Understating how often they return to your product
- Saying they could easily stop using certain features
- Describing habitual use as occasional
Tools for Uncovering True User Love
Smart product teams use specific techniques to see past the contradictions:
Heat Maps and Click Tracking
These tools show where users actually focus:
- Which elements get clicked most
- Where eyes linger on the page
- Which content gets ignored
- How far users scroll
- Which paths they take through your product
Session Recordings
Watching real users reveals truth:
- Where users hesitate or get confused
- How they react to problems
- Which features they discover naturally
- What they try repeatedly
- How they actually use your product in their environment
Cohort Analysis
Comparing different user groups reveals patterns:
- How behavior changes over time
- Which features lead to long-term retention
- Where new and experienced users differ
- Which user types get the most value
- How usage evolves as users grow with your product
A/B Testing
Testing alternatives settles debates:
- Which design users actually prefer (vs. say they prefer)
- Whether new features improve key metrics
- How small changes affect behavior
- Which messaging resonates in practice
- What really drives user decisions
Bridging the Research Gaps
To get a complete picture of user needs:
Ask Better Questions
Improve how you gather feedback:
- Ask about specific, recent experiences
- Use “show me” instead of “tell me” questions
- Focus on problems, not solutions
- Ask “what did you do last time” not “what would you do”
- Use exercises that reveal priorities, not just opinions
Observe Real Behavior
See users in their natural habitat:
- Conduct field studies where users naturally use your product
- Use diary studies to track behavior over time
- Analyze behavioral data from actual usage
- Watch users solve real problems, not artificial tasks
- Notice workarounds users create
Connect Words and Actions
Look for the story behind the contradiction:
- When users say they love something but don’t use it, ask why
- Explore barriers to using beloved features
- Investigate why disliked features see heavy use
- Find the hidden benefits of “unnecessary” features
- Discover unmet needs behind contradictory feedback
Making Decisions with Mixed Data
When user preferences and behavior conflict, how do you choose?
Trust Behavior for “What”
User actions generally show:
- Which features provide real value
- Where users spend their time
- What problems they actually encounter
- Which paths they naturally take
- How they really use your product day-to-day
Trust Feedback for “Why”
User words help explain:
- The goals behind their actions
- How they feel about the experience
- What they want to accomplish
- Which problems matter most to them
- Why they make certain choices
Prioritize Patterns Over Outliers
Focus on repeated patterns:
- Consistent behavior across many users
- Feedback themes mentioned by different groups
- Problems that appear in multiple research methods
- Behavior that persists over time
- Contradictions that appear regularly
From Mixed Signals to Clear Direction
Despite the contradictions, you can find clarity:
Look for Underlying Needs
Often, contradictory feedback points to deeper needs:
- Say they want customization but don’t use it = they want something that works for them without effort
- Claim to read help content but don’t = they want intuitive design that doesn’t require explanation
- Ask for more features but ignore new ones = they want better solutions to their problems, not more options
Find the Emotional Core
User love often hinges on emotional factors:
- Your product make users feel competent?
- Reduce anxiety or create it?
- Make users proud or embarrassed?
- Respect their time and attention?
- Make them feel understood?
Balance Innovation and Familiarity
Users often say they want innovation but stick with the familiar:
- Introduce changes gradually
- Connect new ideas to familiar concepts
- Ensure core workflows remain stable
- Make improvements that feel natural, not forced
- Give users time to adapt to big changes
Learning from Mixed Signals
Contradictions between words and actions aren’t problems—they’re opportunities:
The Gift of Contradiction
These gaps reveal:
- Where user education could help
- Which features need better onboarding
- How your product might better align with user goals
- Where users struggle to articulate their needs
- Which assumptions need challenging
Developing Product Empathy
Mixed signals help you understand users as complex humans:
- Have competing priorities and limited time
- Want to improve but struggle with change
- Have both practical and emotional needs
- Don’t always know what will help them
- Both rational and irrational
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Building Products Users Truly Love
The best digital products don’t just listen to users or just watch them—they do both:
- Observe what users actually do
- Listen to what they say and feel
- Look for the patterns in both
- Find the needs behind the contradictions
- Build solutions that address those deeper needs
When you understand both the stated and unstated needs, you can create products users might not ask for but will truly love once they use them.
Keep in mind that while words may not always be as loud as actions, the full story of user love requires hearing—and seeing—both.